Imagine...

"Greetings." - Matthew 28:9

A day of love.

The story of God's love is outlandish, it's too much. I mean, the life of a son, for me? In a day, the life of a son was given for me.  Are you serious?  I can't accept that, can I?  As an adult receiving an extravagant gift of any kind is difficult to accept unearned.  It's difficult to receive a gift that is beyond my means to acquire on my own.  I end up feeling like I have to repay the gift somehow. I have to buy it back in some way.

As a child, an extravagant gift is more like a jackpot, isn't it?  Receiving something you have no way of getting by your own means is an experience that demonstrates love.  As a child, receiving something like this is NOT too much, it's just happiness, excitement, and joy.  As a child, I don't feel bad about it at all.  I am grateful and amazed and enjoy the gift to it's fullest.  I understand that I have no means of paying it back, and that's okay...it's awesome actually.

I must be more like a child.  Because God's love for us is limitless and there's no way to repay it...but I can accept it if I try.

"How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!" - 1 John 3:1

A Simple Workflow for Anyone

Several months ago I felt overwhelmed and tired.  I had a lot of work coming in, and all the ways I’d used in the past to manage that work were failing.  So I started looking for new ways to manage the work.  I tried spreadsheets, index cards, calendaring, online to do lists, project management software, PC, iPad, iPhone, you name it, I tried it.  I’ve tried apps like Bamboo, Notepad, Noteshelf, Evernote, TeuxDeux (which came closer than any of them), Remember The Milk, SG Project Pro, Google Docs (now Google Drive), and others not worthy of mention.  I read about time organizing, getting things done, and other catchy titles that promised clarity and productivity.  I was searching for a way to organize the flow, while allowing for easy mobile access to my system.  I found that the more complex the method I tried, the more likely it was to fail… or maybe it’s more accurate to say that it was more likely that I would fail at keeping up with it.  I know many people use the tools I’ve mentioned successfully.  Good for them.  Good for you if it works for you!  That’s why I tried them.

For me, I find that a simple, minimal, and easy to work method works best.

These methods do not require the purchase of anything more expensive than a pen and paper.  (That’s assuming you already have the tools required to do the other parts of your job.)  You can purchase a calendar if you like, but you can also use the template like the one I started with if you don’t want to spend any unnecessary cash.

Feel free to adopt/adapt it however you like. If my experience has taught me nothing else, it’s that one size does NOT fit all when it comes to effective working methods.  This just happens to be the way that works for me.

THE TOOLS

• Pen: I happen to be a bit of a pen snob. I like a medium line ball point. I’ve used roller balls, felt tip, and fountain pens, but I find ball point makes a good ink line and it doesn’t dry out or bleed onto the paper like some of the other options.  I like a medium line because the stroke makes for an easier read than a fine line.  It also allows for less space on the calendar – which means you can schedule fewer tasks – which means you might actually succeed in completing them all as scheduled.  It changes from time to time, but my preferred pen at the time of this writing is the Parker Jotter.  (I lose cheap pens by the dozens, but I find if I spend just a little money on a pen, I'm less likely to misplace it...and I'll always have it with me.)

• Paper: This is for taking notes, and it should be many sheets in one book/pad.  I’ve found that keeping my notes in one place for easy reference and transfer to the list/calendar is essential to a simple process.  I think if I kept my notes on scraps, post-its or 3x5 cards, I would spend too much time sorting, sifting, and digging for information that comes so easy with just a flip of the page when using a notebook or paper pad of some kind.  Again, I’m a bit of a snob, so I don’t like the cheapo legal pads at the office box store.  I’d prefer an art pad with no lines, or if lines are necessary, I prefer a one subject college ruled note book.  Again, I like to keep it simple.

• Calendar:  The concept is not optional, but the media used for it can be personalized to what works best for you.  As I said earlier, I started with a paper template that I just printed as needed.  You can do the same, and here’s my template if you’d like to download it for yourself.  I based my template on this calendar (which I've used many times over the years and highly recommend).  It’s not too expensive and I like having everything in one book.  I occasionally schedule something further out than one week, so having it all together makes that a little easier to keep tabs on.

THE METHOD

First, let me show it to you as a diagram:

One of the challenges I faced when working through this process was how to process the massive amounts of information that was coming my way on a daily, sometimes hourly, basis.  I really prefer the day to be full and busy – I feel like I’m accomplishing something, it’s fun to get lost in one’s work, and the day goes by faster so that I feel like I’m getting home to my family sooner.  However, I only like that fullness when I can process it.  I HATE feeling overwhelmed – if feeling accomplished, having fun, and enjoying the day is on one side of the graph, then I have to say that for me, disorganized work, unclear expectations, and clutter are on the other side…and that’s when I get overwhelmed.

The good news is that I control which side of the graph I choose to live on.  It doesn’t matter what others do, I can process and work through the muck any way I choose.  So can you.

The ways in which I receive tasks and requests are varied.  I may receive an email, take notes in a meeting that require action on my part, I may be assigned a task of some sort, or a phone call might bring about a new project.  I might be working on one thing, and be interrupted by another at any given moment.  So, my processing method had to do five things well to be successful for me. 

1. It has to capture the information quickly and reliably.
2. It has to work when I am prepared AND when the unexpected happenes.
3. It has to be portable and accessible from work, home, in the car, in a meeting, on a plane, in outer space, in a cave, in a pineapple under the sea.  Wherever I might find myself, I want to be able to work in that place.
4. It has to report back to me the information I need, immediately when I need it.
5. While not a requirement so much as a preference, I didn’t want my system to be dependent on an electrical outlet.  I love the idea that even if the power goes out, or the battery runs dead, I will not be at a stand still.

I found all of my requirements were met by a simple notebook.  Specifically, this is the oneI use.  (I like not having the constraints of a lined page…I can write notes, sketch ideas, and feel free to process the information however I need to.)   

As I receive information/tasks/jobs, they go into the notebook.  Each entry has a header explaining what it is, maybe the date, time of meeting (if applicable) and who was there.  A note that requires me to actually do something is indicated with a star.  At the bottom of each page I draw a circle.  When that page has been “processed”, I put an “X” in the circle.

Processing the page means I go back through my notes, and transfer any star tasks into my calendar or onto my list.  Information remains in the notebook and is considered “filed away.” (I can always access it later if needed.) 

The calendar is reserved for tasks that have definite or immediate deadlines or expectations. 

The list is for things that need to be done, but there is no specific date tied to the task – or expectation of immediate turn.  I may also place something on the list that is for a later date, but I need to task it out in segments.  For example, a project that is due in 3 months, but has multiple tasks would be entered on the list as “Task out Project X.”  I would then enter tasks on the calendar throughout the time given to make sure the project is completed on time.

The list holds less urgency, but it holds significant priority.  Each week the list is reviewed and items on the list are either scheduled for work, carried through to the next week’s list, or if discovered to be unnecessary or already taken care of, they are scratched through.

Regardless of whether the item is on the list or on the calendar, as each item is completed, it is scratched through and forgotten…allowing new tasks to be completed with a clear mind and focus. (However, one quick note…if an item is completed before I am able to move it from my notebook to the calendar/list, I will go ahead and move it, only to be immediately marked through.  I also use my calendar/list to report on project status occasionally.  It may seem like extra work to move something that’s already completed, but in the long run, it allows me to depend on the calendar alone for an accurate reporting of project statuses.)

That’s about it really.  I think the picture illustrates the process enough to answer any questions, but I’m happy to clarify if needed…just hit me up on Twitter or LinkedIn.

Obsessive

I like this very much.

My Lasik Experience

I'm still fighting the urge to reach for my glasses at just about every moment. I need to read the clock to make sure I'm on time for the follow up appointment...where are my glasses? I need to shave...where are my glasses? I need to pour a cup of coffee into a cup and not on the counter next to the cup...where are my glasses? These bits of plastic, screws, and torqued glass with scratch resistant coating have become so much a part of who I am, who I have grown to be since I was twelve years old, that it feels like I've lost something. Not something I will mourn for long, but a definite and sharp loss all the same.

As we walked to the front doors, I couldn't help noticing how much different it felt this time. I walked through these doors, just a few weeks earlier, with a spring in my step and a sense of hope and wondrous anticipation. Today, these same doors opened with a familiar swing, but held a much heavier weight. The doors, today, led to something which made me take deep breaths.

My name was called, and it was time to pay to play. As the hand lettered sign on the side of an appliance repair van we saw on our way to lunch said, "No payee, not fixee." So, we headed off to the business office and laid out the money. I was actually paying to feel these angry butterflies in my stomach...and paying a significant price at that. I was given instructions, for the first of three times, about what to do after the procedure. It helped that they went through the same instructions three separate times, in three different ways, in a matter of about 45 minutes. It was a significant mission for them to make sure I knew what I would be doing for the next week or so. For that, I was impressed. I never got the feeling that money was the object for them. It was, obviously, but while I expected a cattle call, and there were several people in there with us, it still felt very personal.

After payment comes pre-opp. Valium helped me to stay the course. If I hadn't already paid, if I hadn't been given the valium, if my wife weren't there with me, if I hadn't already told everyone I knew I was doing tihs...I would have bolted...no question in my mind.  I mean, this thing is "elective," and at that moment, I would have elected to be a chicken for sure.

The first step was to put my hairnet and shoe nets on, and then clean my eyes/lashes with iodine. "Close your eyes and keep them closed..." rub rub, wipe wipe - then three minutes later I opened my eyes again. No more glasses from that point on. (As nervous as I was, this was kind of a significant moment...it was the point at which I realized I would not wear those glasses again.) Then they put antibiotic drops in my eyes. These things don't hurt or sting, and I don't know if I'm just a freak or what, but when these drops drain from my eyes into my sinus cavity, I can smell them and it's not a nice smell. I kept smelling this terrible aroma that no one else could smell...and it made me think something was wrong with me. And maybe there is, but this same thing happens every time I put these drops in (4 times a day for the next 4 days). A swig of water removes the problem though.

There were three of us in the waiting area in recliners. I was second in line. The procedure only takes about 10 minutes, but the wait felt like hours....even though it was probably only about 30 minutes. So, my name is called and my wife moves to the observation area (where she sees the surgery on a tv screen - not even I wanted to see that, but she was interested). I walked into the room and laid down on the table. It was comfortable. Even though I was still incredibly nervous, something about the room, the table, the music, and the way the doctor and nurses talked was comforting. It was all business, but not in an emergency sort of way, just like this was an every day thing, but still, they were focused on me. The setting wasn't so clinical that it felt scary, but the touches of personality weren't so overwhelming to make it feel unprofessional either.

After a flood of numbing drops...3 rounds if I remember correctly, I was told to lay still for awhile with my eyes closed (to hold in the solution - likely to increase effectiveness as well, but mainly to maintain moist eyes). I laid there and started to feel like I was floating...like there was nothing to worry about (valium is nice). And then it was time.

The first step in the procedure was to create the corneal flaps on my eyes. This was by far the most unpleasant part of the procedure. It did not hurt at all, but the sensation of pressure on my eye ball was concerning. As the flap is made, the doctor applies a suction ring to the eye to hold it steady. The suction didn't bother me at all actually...it wasn't this massive hockey puck ring I was expecting, it looked more like a toy or something...and even when it was placed on my eye it didn't really bother me. As the machine with the ring of cool blue lights came closer to my eye like a space ship landing on the bridge of my nose, I began to feel the pressure. Again, it didn't hurt at all, but the sensation was kind of like when you pressed your palms into your eyes as a kid and made yourself see stars (that's exactly what it felt like). The difference in this case was that I wasn't controlling it.  I felt vulnerable not knowing where the pressure would stop...and that, rather than the sensation itself, made me very uncomfortable. I'd estimate that process only took a few seconds...once the machine was on, placement was verified, and the laser started working.  From the time the suction ring was placed on my eye, until it was removed, I'd estimate was 60-90 seconds per eye.

One thing anyone doing this should be prepared for that they didn't tell me about is the last moment of that process...and I'm talking the last hundredth of a second or so. The machine does the circle laser cut - which actually makes the flap. No pain at all, but the sensation changed and I wasn't expecting it. I actually asked the doctor if what had just happened was ok...he confirmed that it was and all looked great. The second eye felt the same, and I knew it was coming, so I didn't worry.

After the flaps were made on both eyes (using the same process), the bed was shifted under another machine a few feet to my right. It was as if the bed were the propeller on an airplane...supported in the center and my entire body just turned, pivoting at my hips. This new machine was actually quite nice. The first machine made all the necessary preparations for the flap, then the doctor, under this second machine, actually lifted the flap. Before he could lift it, they inserted a device to keep my eye lids open. I was expecting this to hurt, or be uncomfortable, like a scene from A Clockwork Orange. But the truth is, while I knew it was there and could feel the doctor spread my eye lids with his fingers, I didn't really see or feel the device.  In fact, my other eye was covered with a patch, but as I blinked it, my mind thought I was blinking both eyes, so I couldn't really tell the one eye was being held open. I also never felt like my eye was dry or in danger of drying out. (I was constantly flooded with drops throughout the laser part of the process, and even though I couldn't feel them on my eye, I could feel it running down my face at times...and oddly, that felt nice and comforting.

Lifting the flap required a little more pressure, although nothing even remotely close to what I felt under the first machine.  I could kind of see the instrument he was using, but it did not hurt at all. This took maybe 10 seconds...and seemed to take more than one try maybe...I'm not sure what all was involved in doing that part during my procedure, but it seemed to happen as just a part of the routine.

Once the flap was up and out of the way, I looked toward a blinking red light. I say I looked toward it because nothing was clear, everything was blurry. And in a matter of seconds the laser began crackling. A rapid succession of high pitched of "tat tat tat tat...." is what I heard. I briefly could smell a burning in the air.  It was a medical smell though, not really like from a grill or fireplace, but almost like an electrical odor...like a battery overheating.  My imagination told me it was my eye burning, but looking back, it could have just been the smell of the laser I think. Regardless, I felt nothing - really, for all I know, I was just watching a red dot and nothing happened. I believe each eye was around 50 seconds in this process...which sounds like a lot of time, but it really did seem to pass quickly.  As I began to see the red light come into focus...it made me realize what I was doing there and that my vision was actually being corrected. At that point, I would have let them keep me on that table for another hour if that's what it took. My nervousness had turned to excitement in an instant and I was able to relax.

Once the laser was finished doing it's job, the doctor moved the flap back into place and began to smooth it down with a spatula looking device (I think it was a sponge of some kind), and then went around the edges of the cut with what looked like a q-tip (again, I'm sure it was a tool of some other ocular techno variety).

One eye, two eye, both eyes, done.

It was finished and they had me lay there with my eyes closed for a few minutes longer as the final drops were held in for moisture. They had me open my eyes to make sure the flap was where it was supposed to be still. It was, so they had me sit up and move to another instrument in the room. I think it's called a slit scope. It's where the doctor just looks at your eye under the microscope using a long "slit" of light scanning across the eye to illuminate things more precisely. You might think that after such a procedure it would be hard to keep your eyes open.  It was. Not because they hurt.  They didn't even feel strained.  It was because I was now ultra light sensitive, and even the dim fluorescent lights in the room made me want to squint.

At this point everything was still very cloudy...I could tell my vision was on the way to improving,  could see shapes, make out cabinet doors, could tell there was a nose on the doctor's face, but there were no details, zero clarity...yet.

They led me out of the room to sit in a recliner for a few more minutes..make sure everything took hold and the flap didn't adjust in any way (which is rare, but can happen I'm told). They gave me a Coke, and then sent us on our way.

On the ride home, the light actually hurt a little...not a sharp pain but an incredibly intense strain.  They gave me some really dark sunglasses to wear, but that was not nearly enough. I was glad to have my hoodie jacket with me. I put the dark glasses on, put the hoodie over my head and rode home in total darkness most of the way. There was no pain, no itching, no burning, but even a small amount of light made my eyes feel like I was looking directly at the sun. That passed in the first 2 hours and luckily this was around 5:00 and the sun was going down anyway, and we were traveling East. The next morning I was fine...almost zero light sensitivity.

As I write this, with my eyes closed (I can't see the screen really, so I will have to go back and edit out the mistakes before I post), I am closing in on the 24 hour mark. This time yesterday I was waiting in the recliner, nervous, scared, and wanting to run out the door and just be ok in my glasses. Now, looking back, I'd go back in and do it again in a heart beat. The results, while still healing and working through some of the cloudiness, are amazing. At the doctor's office this morning (at about the 20 hour mark), my vision registered at 20/20 - even though I couldn't see so clearly through the haze just yet.

Update: 32 Hours after surgery... we got out and went to dinner.  My vision is ok, but I'm experiencing a lot of halos and star bursts around lights at night.  I hope this goes away, but if it doesn't, I may not be able to drive at night safely.  This is a little concerning to me, but I am in my first 32 hours still, so there is a lot of healing to go.

Update: 44 hours after surgery... I'm editing now what I had formerly written with my eyes closed. I'm impressed the errors were kept to a minimum, but if you see something glaring I missed, just know the circumstances and cut me a little slack.  My vision is improving in daylight still.  I can now read the street signs down the road in front of our house quite clearly.  My vision in doors in low light is still a bit fuzzy (like I'm wearing contacts that are just one step out of place maybe).  I'm anxious to see how tonight goes and if the halos and starring around lights gets any better.  I plan to keep my eyes closed today again as much as possible and just take it easy.

Update: 48 hours after surgery... We've spent a little time out of the house today.  Went out to eat for lunch and drove around.  When I first go out into the light, my vision is crystal clear and I can read street signs from what seems like a mile away.  My visual acuity is better than I ever had with glasses or contacts, but in a very short time my eyes are strained and vision gets a little blurry a mid ranges.  I think this is just part of the process.  I am experiencing halos and star bursts really bad still.  In the restaurant at lunch, the lights looked like the where sitting on lamp post on a dark street on a foggy night.  With my glasses, I could look at a light and see the filament, but right now most lights have a fog around them, like a cloud just kind of surrounding them. My hope is that this improves with healing...with time. 

Update: 54 hours after surgery...  I was going to wait until tomorrow for the next update, but I'm excited to report that the halos and star bursts are already starting to diminish.  We went out driving tonight, and while they are still there, and I would not want to drive in the dark myself just yet, they were noticeably less.  Last night I could look at an oncoming car and not really tell that there were two lights...they just kind of merged into the halo.  Tonight, not only could I see the two separate lights, I could see the points of origin clearly.  Still some halo/fog around all lights at night, but it's getting better.

Update: 66 hours after surgery...  It's Sunday morning, and my vision started a little hazy.  Definitely nothing to complain about, just some dryness that was quickly remedied with drops.  As I type this, the words on the screen are still a little slow to come into focus, but they get there.  Increasing the font size just one step takes care of it completely (I suspect reading glasses would do the same).  They still have blood spots from the procedure (so I can freak little kids out pretty well right now), but my eyes feel normal.  It's still very strange to be able to see things without having plastic lenses floating around on my eyeball or frames slipping down my nose.  I'll get used to it I'm sure, but it might take awhile.  The only thing I might complain about, if I were a wussy baby, is the fact that the spots on my face where I have to tape the eye shields on at night are getting a little sore.  That surgical tape seems to remove a layer of skin every time I pull it off.  I'll just rotate where I'm taping tonight, and hopefully that will help.  I won't have to wear the shields much longer anyway (but I might extend it a few days just because I don't want to risk rubbing my eyes in my sleep...may try to find a strap on mask instead though...the tape really is bothersome).  I'm anxious to see how things work tonight.  I'm really hoping the halos and star bursts go away sooner rather than later...but I won't be picky...later would be fine too if they will just go away.

Update: 90 hours after surgery- (morning of day 4)...  My vision continues to improve it seems.  It takes me less time to focus in on things. In fact, I would say that it's instant now (like when I had my glasses).  The halos and star bursts still concern me, but I'm hoping and praying that patience and healing will take care of that.  FREAKY INFORMATION WARNING!!!  I am getting tired of wearing the eye shields when I sleep.  They say I don't have to do it more than four days, but out of curiosity, I looked up how long it would take my corneal flaps to heal last night.  I was expecting to find something like, "Most patients heal in 24 hours, but many doctors are overly cautious and have their patients wear shields for up to four days after the surgery."  Nope, here's the freaky part...they NEVER fully heal!  That's right, they will never heal to anything near the strength they were before.  It's actually a good thing, because scar tissues required to reattach could wreak havoc with a persons vision.  But, here's how it works...  After a few days, it becomes very difficult to lift or move the flap again, and after months it takes a surgeon or some sort of trauma to move it, but it can still be moved years after the surgery.  When folks go in for enhancements, even months/years later, there's no need to create a new flap, because it's already there.  So, if you ever encounter me in a sports activity or doing anything that might accidentally cause trauma to my eye, I will be the nerd in the protective goggles.  I will be wearing goggles because it's possible for that flap to be dislodged, but it's also possible for it to become dislodged and lost...which would be, as the webMD article I read put it, bad news.  So, that was something I wasn't prepared to read.  I never really asked the question when I met with the variety of doctors and the surgeon...I just assumed, like all things that can happen to the body, that the cut on the eye would heal up normally.  It was a wrong assumption.  I don't think it would have changed my decision to do this, but it might have caused me some added delay...so maybe it's good I didn't find out until after.

Update: Day 4...  The halo and glare is getting better.  I could actually drive tonight.  My eyes were extremely strained in front of the computer and under the florescent lights today at work...so much so that I felt the need to leave early.  It got to where I had trouble focusing on the text on the screen.  I'm thinking tomorrow may be better...seems like everything just continues to improve as time goes on.

Update: Day 5... Nothing much new to report.  My vision continues to improve at night...the halos are still there, but they are diminishing it seems. I was able to stop the regimen of antibiotic and steroid drops today, which is nice.  I know they were adding liquid to my eye, but for some reason, it feels like my eyes are less dry now that I've been able to stop - could just be correlated to days of healing under my belt though.  Oh, and if an update a few days ago, about the flap never healing, freaked you out...I read more and found out something new.  While it is true that the flap never heals (in the traditional sense), it does create bonds and the kind of trauma it takes to dislodge it after 6 months (or sometimes even sooner) is the kind of trauma that would cause vision issues for someone even if they didn't have lasik.  So, it's not like an accidental rub of the eyes or even a tennis ball to the face would definitely cause a problem.  Still, eye protection is recommended for anyone (lasik or not) who will be doing activities that could cause eye injury.

Update: Day 6... Today, I spent much of the time at home working on the computer, but under non-florescent lighting.  It was much easier on my eyes.  I have had a chance to heal for nearly a week and I can definitely tell that my left eye is near perfect vision.  My right eye, which was my strongest eye before the surgery doesn't seem to be quite the same quality as the left eye.  However, at a distance, I can't tell much, if any difference, it's only looking at things across a room and covering one of my eyes that I can tell.  It's possible this difference is due to my cornea still healing in my right eye though.  At my one day check up, they discovered inflammation under my eye lid...which by now the steroid drops should have remedied, but the damage caused may still be lingering a bit - causing a little blurriness.  I go back tomorrow morning for my 1 week visit...looking forward to seeing how things are progressing. After tomorrow's post, I will only update this post again after each doctor's visit (unless there's something significant to report).  The follow up appointments, if all goes as scheduled, occur at one day, one week, one month, three months, and one year.  So, to report a little on the halo and star bursts, I'm still experiencing them.  Just before this update, I walked out to the end of my driveway to see oncoming traffic.  It's not quite dark yet, still a little daylight in the Western sky, but the headlights are a little more clear tonight I think.  It's hard to tell.  I would say that at this point, if it never got any better than what I see right now (which I'm thinking it still will...but if it didn't...), I would definitely do this again.  It would take some getting used to, but the clarity in every single other aspect far outweighs a few halos.

Update: Day 7...  I went to the doctor for my 1 week checkup.  It seems there are some healing issues in my right eye (and some even more minor issues in the left).  So, I will continue on the steroid drops a little less frequently and only in the one eye.  My cornea is "wavy" - which basically means it needs to settle down.  This could take some time.  My vision is still relatively crisp.  I see a little double vision in my right eye in addition to the halos, but the hope is that it will clear up and heal with a little more time.  I go back in two weeks for the 1 month check up - it'll end up being a little early, but that's ok because of the issues...I'd like to get in sooner rather than later.  There's a lot of scary info out there on the internet with regards to improper healing after Lasik, but I knew going in it might not be a next day type healing...I knew it could take up to 12 months...I had just hoped there wouldn't be any issues at all.  I guess the unknown is a little frightening when it comes to this kind of thing, but at the sametime, right now my vision is clear, so I'm choosing not to worry until I have something more to worry about.  For now, I just follow the course of treatment and see what happens at the next checkup.  (By the way, the pressures in my eye were good at this last visit...so for now I'm at least past that one potential scary side effect.)

Update:  Week 3 1/2...  I went to the doctor for my one month check up - a bit early, but the office is closed on the actual 4th week, and we didn't want to put it off. I had been seeing some wavy lines a week earlier, we did a scan and all kinds of tests...and now that all that has come back fine, I am proud, and slightly embarrassed  to report that eye lashes can make it appear that you have wavy lines in your vision. A simple test of raising one eyelid allowed me to discover this.  So, all that to say that all is well on the vision front today.  I am healing as I should, the blurriness that I experienced in the first weeks is all but disappeared, and while I am still seeing some halos and star bursts around lights at night, they are noticeably and significantly less...and I still hold out hope that these side effects will continue to diminish.  I can see without glasses or contacts and it's still a little strange to wake up at night, or in the morning, and be able to just get out of bed and walk - without having to first stumble around to find my glasses...the clarity is just there now.  My experience has been good, but I still have to say that I was unprepared for the effects of healing after the surgery.  I was ill prepared for what I now know is a normal process. My wife goes in for the same procedure in a few days, so I guess I have to say that I would recommend it.  But the one caveat I'd put on that recommendation is to expect great results, but be ready for the possibility that they will not be immediate...and could require enhancement procedures later even (not sure what mine will settle in to, but I might require an enhancement in a few months.  We'll have to wait until my 3 month check up to know for sure.

I would do this again - no question.

To anyone considering this, the fear, anxiousness, and nervousness of the unknown with this (for me at least) was much MUCH worse than anything I actually experienced. If I have to go back for an enhancement later on, I'll be ok to do it, and I won't be nervous at all. Knowing exactly what to expect - in terms of sensation - would have helped me get through it better.  I knew the technical details from start to finish, had watched multiple surgeries online, and asked all kinds of questions of those who have had the procedure, but I still just didn't know what to expect it to feel like.  While it's not something I'd do as a theme park ride, or for fun, I would do it again knowing what I know right now.

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I'm adding long-term, continued updates because I realized that now, even five months out, I am still experiencing issues/healing.

Update:  Month 5...  I did go to my three month exam on time, but just did not post an update here.  All seemed well, except I thought I was seeing a black spot in one of my eyes.  After scans and some concern, I discovered on my own, that I was only seeing my eyelashes (which was strange - never could see them before I guess).  At any rate, we're now at month five and I am experiencing very good vision.  I wouldn't say it's perfect, but it's close.  During the day I see leaves on the trees and can read signs from a good distance.  My reading vision is also clear.  I do have an occasional day where my eyes are dry and because of that my vision diminishes a bit, but I'm still functional.  I DO NOT have HD quality vision.  I feel pretty certain that I saw things more clearly with my contacts.  My night vision has diminished significantly, although, not to the point that I regret the surgery.  The lights at night have star bursts and at first it really REALLY bothered me, but now that I've gotten used to it, it's not that bad.  Certainly not bad enough to want to go back to contacts/glasses (even if I could).  I think that's the takeaway from month five.  Things aren't perfect, but they are good and I don't regret the decision like I did around month three when things weren't perfect and didn't seem to be getting better very fast.  MINOR ISSUE: My eyes are now dry.  They were never dry before.  All my exams before never revealed any dryness..I wore contacts for years with no trouble...but now, my eyes are dry.  We are in the peak of allergy season, so I'm hoping as the summer comes on this will go away a bit, but they are dry and I use drops much more than I ever did with contacts.  I'm told this too just takes time to go away and eventually it should.  It's not terribly inconvenient, but the drops I have to use now (non-preservative) are expensive...so it irks me just a little to have to keep spending money on my eyes....LASIK was supposed to make it where I didn't have to spend so much money on them anymore.  I hope that still happens!

The Eyes Have It

I have depended on glasses since I was in 6th grade. I have lived a life not seeing things as clearly as I would have liked (both literally and metaphorically - but today, we talk in the literal sense).

I've learned to live with my vision as it is for many years. I wake up to an unseen world every single morning. I swim in murky movements of light and dark. I walk with my hands in front of me and shuffle step my way past chairs, toys, and door jams at 3am on the way to the bathroom only to know for sure that I'm aiming true when I hear the water splash. I read with the pages of books only a few inches from my face. I only see straight in front of me and have to turn my head, not just my eyes, to see things to the left or right of where I'm standing.

So, if I've learned to live with it, why on earth would I go into a surgery where they will remove part of my cornea, blast away parts of my eye with a laser, and then put the cornea back in place? Trust me, I've asked myself that same question MANY times over the last several months. And, I think the answer boils down to a desire to change my life in some ways. In other words, I hope the clarity I get from such a life altering event will extend past the literal.

Why do I think this is possible?  Imagine jumping into a pool filled with petroleum jelly when you were 12 years old, opening your eyes in the muck, and having that vision be what you see for the rest of your life - UNLESS you stick little pieces of plastic in your eye, or wear these things on your face that make your nose and ears sore...and only work when you're actually wearing them.

Now, imagine someone telling you that all you have to do is endure 10 minutes of discomfort. It won't hurt, but it might feel a little strange. Then, your eyes will be opened and you will see again like you did before you jumped into that pool 26 years ago.

What would you do? How would you feel? I expect to feel like I can take on the world. I expect to feel like anything is possible again. I don't expect it to be on the same level as when I became a Christian, when I married my wife, or the births of my two daughters, but it might be on a similar level as getting my first car, graduating from high school, or moving out on my own for the first time. It will be liberating (praying all goes well).

I do think this could change my life. I'll let you know how it goes as soon as I can write again after the procedure. And if it does change my life, you might just get to witness some of that here on the blog as time goes on.

Cleaning up, it hits me...

While cleaning up a bit to be ready for many hours in bed with my eyes closed, it hits me that I am going to have surgery on my eyes tomorrow. This will hopefully correct my vision so that what you see in this photo of my bedside table will be less one object tomorrow night...even as it lingers tonight.  I'll write more about this later and post tomorrow.